Life Goes On

It has been more than three months since Debbie finished her long goodbye. After watching her decline for so many years, I thought I was reasonably prepared for her death. In many ways, I was. But I am discovering that being prepared for someone's death and learning to live without them are two different things.

First, I want to thank the many people who have reached out to me. The number of friends and family who attended Debbie's visitation was heartwarming. The cards, telephone calls, emails, and memorial contributions were greatly appreciated. Many people continue to check on me to see how I am doing. Those simple gestures mean more than you might imagine. I am fortunate to have so many caring people in my life.

People often ask how I am doing. My answer is that I am doing okay. I have my family, good friends, work that I enjoy, and plenty of interests. There are good days and some difficult moments, but I have much to be thankful for.

The first several weeks after Debbie's death were occupied with the business of dying. There were financial accounts to change, documents to complete, and all the other details that follow someone's death. Fortunately, Debbie and I had planned for most of this years ago, which made things much easier. Still, it seemed strange that after sharing 25 years together, so much of the process involved removing her name from things.

One thing that has surprised me is how my perception of time has changed. Some days it seems like Debbie has been gone for years. Other days it feels like she died yesterday. I can't explain it, but time doesn't seem to work quite the way it used to.

Evenings are sometimes difficult. During the day, I have plenty to keep me occupied, but when things quiet down, time can slow to a crawl. I have lived alone for more than two years, so being by myself is nothing new. But there is a big difference between living alone and being a widower. Before, I could always look forward to my next visit with Debbie. Now that part of my life is over, and I miss it.

Fortunately, I continue to work at the Iowa FAIR Plan. Work gives me a reason to get up in the morning, get moving, and stay involved with people. Better yet, I genuinely enjoy what I do. Having something that provides both purpose and pleasure is a double blessing.

I miss Debbie, although perhaps not always in the ways I expected. I miss our daily visits, walking the halls of Edgewater holding hands, and the special days when she would recall my name when I arrived. I even miss some of those conversations that made absolutely no sense. We didn't need to say much to enjoy being together.

Being Debbie's caregiver taught me a lot about patience, flexibility, and living in the moment. Now I am learning how to be a widower again. (I lost Carol to cancer and Debbie to dementia. I am so blessed to have had a combined 53 years of marriage to two remarkable women.) So, this is another adjustment in life, and I suspect there will be a few more lessons along the way.

I don't intend to spend the rest of my life looking backward except in the celebration of good memories. There are still things I want to do, places to go, people to see, and experiences to enjoy. I know Debbie would want that for me. This past weekend I drove to Kearney, NE to see family and especially my beautiful, great granddaughter, Lucy.

I miss Debbie, and I always will. But I also know that life goes on, and I intend to make the most of it. I am grateful for the 25 years we shared, grateful that her suffering is over, and grateful for the family and friends who continue to support me.

Onward and Upward! Bob 

David O.Creighton Sr

In February 2026 I nominated my friend, David O.Creighton Sr., to be posthumously inducted into the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame (IIHOF). I just found out that he will be inducted this year on October 6, 2026 at the Meadows Event Center in Altoona, IA.. 

The submission to the IIHOF included letters of recommendation from several people. I was honored to able to send the following letter of recommendation the IIHOF Board of Directors.

To the Nominating Committee and the Board of Directors of the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame,

It is with sincere pleasure that I write to recommend the induction of David O’Neil Creighton, Sr., CPCU, to the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame.

I met David in 1993 when Preferred Risk Mutual (now GuideOne Insurance) acquired the Bryton Companies. David was president of the Bryton Companies.  We worked together to successfully combine the Bryton Companies with Preferred Risk’s wholesale brokerage called CGA Insurance Services. During those years I found David to be a visionary on identifying and then implementing best practices in agency automation and optimizing workflows to the benefit of both policyholders and employees.

David was a member of the Professional Insurance Agents (PIA) Company Council of Executive Officers (PIA-CEO) and made many trips to the PIA headquarters in Alexandria, VA. David’s involvement in the development of PIA’s Agent of the Future curriculum was significant.

David met annually with Iowa’s legislators in Washinton D.C. to provide input on issues that affected the insurance industry at the carrier, agency, and policyholder level. I was present with David at one such meeting with Congressman Jim Leach. This was just prior to the passage of the Gramm–Leach–Bliley Act. The sponsors had locked down the bill as they had enough votes in both houses and agreement from the Clinton administration. The problem was this version had an inherent flaw in the privacy provisions that would have made underwriting difficult or even impossible. Industry leaders and even Representative Leach’s staff knew the bill was flawed but the votes were secured and Representative Leach would not entertain any discussion of the matter.

She is at Peace.

Debbie has finished her long goodbye. She died on July 01, 2026, and is finally free from the disease that slowly robbed her of so many years while making the last decade of her life a challenge for her, her family, and her friends.

A couple of weeks ago, Debbie began showing increased signs of confusion. After several medical tests, it became clear that her condition had progressed to the point where hospice care was appropriate. Those services were arranged quickly, and, thankfully, she was able to remain in the room at Edgewater that had been her home for the past two years.

There is nothing but gratitude in my heart for the compassionate caregivers and staff at Edgewater, a WesleyLife Community. They cared for Debbie with exceptional kindness, dignity, and respect, bringing comfort not only to her but also to our family during the final chapter of her life.

I am equally grateful to my family and friends who stood by Debbie for so many years and surrounded us with love and support during her final weeks. It was remarkable to see everyone focus on one thing, making Debbie as comfortable as possible while caring for one another. There were no discouraging words, only compassion, kindness, and love. One of my greatest joys was seeing Debbie meet her two-week-old great-granddaughter, Lucy, made possible by a 600-mile round trip that her parents gladly made so they could share that moment with her.

Those who know us well will not be surprised to learn that Debbie and I preplanned our funeral arrangements more than 20 years ago. Debbie wanted a quiet goodbye with a private service and interment. She never mentioned a visitation, however, so we are taking advantage of that small loophole to give family and friends an opportunity to gather, share memories, and celebrate the wonderful person she was. The visitation will be held from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m., Sunday, July 5, 2026, at Caldwell Parrish Funeral Home (8201 Hickman Rd. Urbandale, IA) A private service and interment will be held at a later date.

Debbie was the kindest person I have ever known. It was one of life's greatest privileges to be her husband, her best friend, and her partner for 25 years. Her gentle spirit, warm heart, and quiet strength touched everyone who knew her. She will be deeply missed, lovingly remembered, and forever cherished.

https://www.caldwellparrish.com/obituaries/debra-conroy

Bonus Mom by Katie Lane

Here is a wonderful tribute written by my daughter Katie about Debbie.

My sweet bonus mom passed away yesterday.

Debbie came into my life exactly when I needed her most. I was 21 years old, a brand-new mom, and grieving the loss of my own mom to cancer. From the very beginning, she made me feel welcomed, loved, and like I belonged.

She became Jackson's beloved "Rar-Rar," and I will always be grateful that she stepped into that role with so much love. She held space for my grief, never trying to replace my mom, but patiently loving me through it. We shared countless conversations, always respecting and caring for one another.

When Allison was born, Debbie scooped her right up and proudly became her grandma too. Then came Hunter and Chase. I still smile thinking about how she thanked me for "letting her be a grandma" because now she was a professional.

Debbie was the glue that held our family together. Because she became my bonus mom, I was blessed with two incredible sisters, Mikki and Aimee, whom I love with all my heart and soul. Along with them came an amazing extended family that welcomed me with open arms.

Debbie made it possible for me to be loved by so many people when I needed it the most. That is a gift I will carry with me forever.

She may be gone from our sight, but she will always be with us. She is finally free to be the Debbie we all know and love, and I know she's smiling down on all of us.

I will miss her forever.

Thank you, Debbie, for being my mom. I love you so much, and I always will.

Meet Lucy Jo Lane

What an incredible day! Today I met my five-day-old great-granddaughter, Lucy Jo Lane, for the very first time. She is healthy, beautiful, and already surrounded by so much love. 

Her mother and father are doing a wonderful job as new parents. It didn't take long for Lucy to steal my heart, and I know she will bring endless joy to our family in the years ahead.