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Where Have You Been?

Another three months have passed in Debbie’s long goodbye journey. She has declined a little more, each decline a subtle milestone, but still she is able to join me for dinner every day. Recently, we met another couple here at Edgewater who are walking a path very much like ours. Sally is in memory care, and her husband John lives in independent living on campus. The four of us have begun to gather for dinner each evening. John and I often find ourselves lost in conversation, swapping stories from our varied life experiences and mulling over the latest news. There’s comfort in this camaraderie, and it’s nice to see how content Debbie and Sally are having us by their side and sharing the warmth at the table. Debbie’s world continues to shrink. She shows little interest in stepping outside, so we’ve adapted, taking short walks together inside the Edgewater complex. These loops become our shared moments that we both enjoy without many words being said. She is happiest when she is not requ...
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Recent posts

Life Goes On

It has been 575 days since Debbie moved into Beacon Springs, the memory-care community at Edgewater. Beacon Springs is her safe harbor. The caregivers know her well and treat her with such gentleness. Her apartment is filled with little pieces of home that help her stay anchored as her memory slips further away. Even though her world is getting smaller, she has found a way to be content within it. I continue to visit every day. Those visits have become the quiet focus of my day. I help her with small things like combing her hair, picking out clothes, and taking walks around the Edgewater campus. But mostly, I’m just there with her. There have been difficult days. Hospital stays. Moments of confusion or fear. The painful awareness that she continues to lose abilities she once relied on. Some of the residents who sat beside her at meals are no longer with us, and their absence lingers. This “long goodbye” is filled with losses both large and small. And yet, there is still joy. Debbie fin...
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Induction Ceremony 2025 Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame

My induction into the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame was an unexpected but greatly appreciated honor. My family and friends suited up and showed up in numbers that exceeded my expectations. To have my children and grandchildren there made it an amazing experience.  The hardest part for me was the speech. Not giving the speech but deciding on what to say. Each inductee is given five minutes which, after the obligatory thank yous, leaves very little time for a serious message,  I had been on the IIHOF board for many years and attended over 20 events so I have heard at least 80 inductee speeches. Some were awkward, some were polished, some were boring. T he ones I remember best were funny so I went with humor with a message.  I was introduced by Abby-Jaye Larson a fellow CPCU with a personality that shines in the dark. She did a great job and set the stage for my speech. I had some notes printed out but I fumbled them on stage and winged it to the end.  Here is a link to ...
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Move Along

Here is a long overdue update on Debbie’s journey. Time is flying by, and I feel like I am never caught up. There is always too much to do and I have too little energy to do it all. It has three months of challenges for Debbie as she continues her long goodbye. Since the last post she made two trips to the hospital, one by ambulance the other I drove her. Both were overnight stays, but she was able to return to Edgewater both times. Debbie continues to lose ground cognitively, but she is unaware of the total extent of her condition, and we are grateful for that. She often does not sleep well so mornings are a difficult time for her. After an hour or two she usually joins in the scheduled activities and is generally calm. I visit at least once every day and always for an hour or two before dinner as this is by far her best time. We have a daily routine. The first is to help her clean up and change clothes, go for a walk (outside if the weather is good), and then watch a little televisio...
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Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame

  After a long career with GuideOne / Preferred Risk and the Iowa FAIR Plan, I found out that I will be inducted into the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame . It still seems a little surreal to me as I didn't see myself at that level. Apparently the people that nominated me, those that wrote letters of recommendation, and the board of directors that voted didn't agree. I am grateful for the honor. I was blessed to have great bosses, mentors, and coworkers. So many of them have passed away but their influence is still with me and I do my best to pass it on to those that I influence. Ron Wilson, Bob Conroy, Jack Martinez My late wife, Carol, and my wife Debbie were always supportive and and encouraging. Success at any level would have been impossible without their love and support. Ron Wilson, Dave Creighton Sr. Russ Lettington, Syd Vanderlinden, Bob Conroy
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Yesterday was Debbie's 69th birthday.

Debbie has been in Edgewater for one year now. She has adapted well to living there and it continues to be the best life possible that I can provide for her. I still visit every day. Most days I must help her with hygiene issues as she is most comfortable taking help from me. Then before dinner we walk around the building or the campus if the weather is nice. If I have FAIR Plan work that needs to be done, I open my laptop while Debbie is content sitting next to me while I work. The Edgewater staff members are amazing. I cannot adequately describe the depth of their professionalism, their caring, and their hard work. I don't know how they give so much of themselves to care about the residents as much as they do and then must see each of them die. Since Debbie has been there, there have been six deaths in total, with two in the last few weeks. We lost Maggie, the life of the party. Maggie told me she was there because she had dementia and then laughed and laughed. She maintained her...
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Calm and Happy

Here is an update on where we are on our journey. Debbie is still at Edgewater in the memory care unit called Beacon Springs.  The last few months have been a time of loss. A longtime friend from my Preferred Risk days died, and another is now in memory care. Recently, several of the residents in Beacon Springs have died, two have moved to long-term care, and one is in the hospital. The losses continue with Debbie as she continues to lose more cognitive ability. She is starting to hallucinate. She is hearing voices and then responding to them. Her words make no sense, but then I only hear half of the conversation. The good news is that Debbie is calm and generally happy because she feels safe. She is always clean, well-fed, and tended to  by wonderful people who care about her. To the best of her ability, Debbie participates in group activities. She has many friends and family who visit. So, from that perspective, she's luckier than most people. As I watched Debbie’s slow decl...
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