Bob and Debbie Conroy - Enjoying the Journey Together!

Debbie’s “long goodbye” continues unabated. We, who are close to her and see her often, see endless evidence of her slipping away from us. The good news is she still accepts without complaint her current living status. Never once has she asked to go home. Debbie sees her room as her “apartment” and she is proud to show it off to visitors. We filled the room with many of Debbie’s favorite items to make it familiar to her. So far this is working great. I visit every day and will do so as it is beneficial to Debbie. I have determined that the best time to visit is one to two hours before dinner. Then I transition out as she is seated for dinner. When I get there, she usually needs help with hygiene, so I help her freshen up and change clothes. She requires multiple prompts for dressing and eating but fortunately she is mostly compliant and does not get frustrated when she does not understand what is being said. A typical visit includes grabbing a couple of cookies, sometimes ice cream too...

It has been over six weeks since Debbie moved into the memory care section at Wesley’s Edgewater campus in West Des Moines. I am happy to report that the move and transition were better than we hoped for as she was immediately calmer and happier in this more structured environment. She has a nice room; it is quite large, and we call it her apartment. The facilities and the staff at Edgewater are fantastic. Debbie continues to decline cognitively, a little bit each day. She cannot read, follow conversations, or express more than her basic thoughts and needs. When asked a question she freezes up as she senses that it is a question, perhaps from the rising inflection at the end of the question. We try not to ask her questions, but it is hard not to because it is polite to ask people what they might need and give them choices. Very little new information makes it into Debbie’s long-term memory. When her sister Ronna visits in the morning and then I visit later in the day, Debbie has no mem...

I want to let you know that Debbie is entering the later stages of her illness as those around her can notice daily declines. Debbie’s needs have progressed to the point where she was moved into long-term memory at Wesley Life Edgewater in West Des Moines last week. This has been a tough decision, and I am a mix of sadness because I miss her being at our home but relieved knowing that she’ll be getting the care she needs. Edgewater is well-equipped to manage her symptoms and provide her with the best possible quality of life. She is already responding favorably to her new surroundings. Soon I will post how to visit or where to send her cards and photos.

  This was likely Debbie’s last Christmas where she will know it was Christmas, so we maintained our traditions. She had some good moments but was stressful for her, nonetheless. She would see the Christmas tree and the packages under the tree and then get anxious about the need to buy presents. I would reassure her that it was done, and she would relax. But the information would not make it into her long-term memory. A few minutes later she would panic and ask again. This is pretty much how every day is for her now, a lot of anxiety and a little slippage every day. Our goal is to maintain a daily routine as that is calming for her. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers as we continue the long goodbye.