Conroyisms – Part 5

• A “near miss” is actually a hit.

• Defining oneself by the type and brand of alcohol consumed is an example of effective marketing meeting low self-esteem.

• Everyone I follow on Facebook that is a runner eventually gets a serious injury–do they not notice the correlation?

• Atoms do not actually touch each other as their electrons repel each other and this force increases exponentially as the distance between them decreases. So when you sit in a chair you actually levitating above it- just not very high.

• It is your ability to transform your dreams into goals, and your focus on them, that will determine your happiness in life.

Symbiotic

I was picking up license plates for a new car in Adel, IA and noticed a sign on a building across the street. The sign was for a bar with the prosaic name Hideaway Lounge. It was a bar, i.e., a business where people make a profit off other people’s chemical dependency.

But it was the other business that really caught my eye, a 24 hour crisis center. How ironic that a bar and a crisis center are co-located.

It is an obvious symbiotic relationship but is it mutualism, commensalism or parasitism?  An additional irony is the address: 911.

Conroyisms – Part 4

Some of the things that make me stop and think “Really”:

• License plates with stickers in multiple places besides the lower left corner.

• People that refuse to get a computer or use the Internet.

• Parents with children with more alcohol than food in their cart.

• Graffiti.

• Broke people driving new cars and living in big houses.

• Sports fanatics that can recite sports score and stats but couldn’t name a single person in the Cabinet, their U. S. Congressman, state legislator or state senator.

• Rap music with profane and violent lyrics.

• Computer viruses.

• People that say, “Don’t judge” since good judgment is what keeps us safe.

• Why it is called Happy Hour?

• “Reality TV” since it is anything but real.

• National Public Radio.

• People that define themselves by a brand of beer or a sports team.

• Real estate developers that go broke to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars in little old Des Moines.

• Rekha Basu and the Des Moines Register in general.

• Professional Sports

• People that don’t vote.

• The attempt to require equal outcomes regardless of talent or effort.

• High heels on snow boots.

• Dog parks.

• Housing projects that are meant to help people but instead put them in unsafe neighborhoods.

• Adjustable rate mortgages when the fixed rate is below 3%.

• Aged liberals – I give them a pass until 35.

• Brittney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and Paris Hilton as role models.

• Maintaining 80,000+ U.S. troops in Europe.

• Save the environment bumper stickers on Escalades.

• Smart cars.

• Automated answering systems that lead to nowhere that I want to go.

Conroyisms – Part 3

Some just have to be told.

Here are my current offerings in a continuing effort to come up with an original thought that might be quotable hundreds of years in the future: 

• The hardest thing to endure is an obvious truth that others have decided to ignore.

•  Beyond “Fight or Flight”, when faced with more options, a person tends to freeze.

• Dust and smoke in the atmosphere create beautiful sunsets and then attack your lungs while you sleep.

• A well-timed kind word is a precious gift.

• Just when you have things figured out, it doesn’t matter.

• Time spent with grandchildren is the big payoff.

• In a rational world, the self-treatment of depression and anxiety by abusing drugs would only appear in fiction novels and the movies.

• We build truths out of the bones of those that defy conventional wisdom.

• Suicide is the ultimate method of reducing one’s carbon footprint, anything short of that is some degree of grandstanding or self-delusion.

• Ignorance can be replaced with knowledge and eventually, knowledge can become wisdom.

• I offset my carbon footprint by not attending professional sporting events.

Confluence of Thoughts

I am still haunted by a mental image of two coeds that passed by me on an early morning walk to the football stadium in Iowa City a few years ago. They were wasted –obviously intoxicated from a binge that started at least the night before. Their eyes were bloodshot, with pupils dilated, set in sullen grey sockets on their slack faces as they stumbled down the street. I just saw another version of that look at a microbrewery on the south side of Des Moines.

A microbrewery is not a typical hang spot for me but I was there for a meeting. I am a principal of a local flying club and the current board president selected this location due to the extreme cold at the airport hangers.

There were about ten people in the large tasting room when I arrived for the meeting. During the hour-long meeting about ten drinkers left at random times while another ten arrived in almost perfect synchronicity.

All but one was male, all were about 25-35 years old and well dressed. It was the look in their eyes that reminded me of those wasted coeds from years ago. The drinkers look haunted and driven by an external force as they walked in, got their favorite beer and sat in small groups. There was very little conversation. The point of being there was to drink and feed the beast within them.

A prevention specialist with Prairie Ridge Addiction Treatment Services in Mason City, Iowa was recently quoted, “Overall, only a third of Iowa alcohol users consume 90 percent of the alcohol and the top 10 percent hammer down 10 drinks a day…The majority of alcohol is consumed problematically, consumed in high-risk fashion…The Centers for Disease Control says it costs Iowa $1.9 billion in medical bills, treatment, and law enforcement….We know how to prevent this. The will is not there.”

If alcohol was invented today it would be regulated by the FDA, not by state liquor commission and boards collecting taxes on the backs of people with a disease. The alcohol cartel would not be able to profit from exploiting such a debilitating disease.

Et Tu Brute

Football is like a bad joke with fans (fans is short for fanatics) cheering for their surrogates to inflict brutality on others. Not far removed from the days of the Roman gladiators.

 As always, follow the money. It is the advertising dollars spent by the alcohol cartel that provides the money and the spin to keep it going.

Thumbs Up

I recently had successful surgery on my thumb. It was locked in a “thumbs up” position. The thumb situation had progressed from painful to bend to impossible to bend. The surgery required a small incision to cut the tissue around the tendon to release the pressure.

I went to a surgery center and put on a hospital gown then was wheeled on a gurney into the operating room. There were three nurses in there to prep me. My arm was vigorously scrubbed from my shoulder to the tips of my fingers. The final rinse was with pure alcohol.

After the alcohol rinse, a large sterile paper sheet was immediately placed on me with my hand was sticking out a hole. I was warned by a nurse not to bring any other body part out from under the sheet. The nurse went on to say that it was the best way to kill any bacteria remaining on my skin.

So I wonder, why do people put a substance that kills all that it touches their body. It is sad how the alcohol cartel has hijacked our culture.

Anything for a $

The University of Iowa, nationally known as a top “party school”, has signed a multi-million dollar contract with Anheuser-Busch to guarantee its infamous standing. The contract will allow Anheuser-Busch to use the TigerHawk logo on retail displays, flags, caps, cups, and T-shirts.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) is part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH). NIAAA supports and conducts research on the impact of alcohol use on human health and well-being. (It is the largest funder of alcohol research in the world.)  Here is what the NIAAA reports about college students drinking:

Virtually all college students experience the effects of college drinking – whether they drink or not. The problem with college drinking is not necessarily the drinking itself, but the negative consequences that result from excessive drinking. College drinking problems:

•College drinking is extremely widespread: about four out of five college students drink alcohol.

•About half of college students who drink, also consume alcohol through binge drinking.

Each year, drinking affects college students, as well as college communities, and families. The consequences of drinking include:

•Death: 1,825 college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die each year from alcohol-related unintentional injuries.

•Assault: More than 690,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are assaulted by another student who has been drinking.

•Sexual Abuse: More than 97,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are victims of alcohol-related sexual assault or date rape.

•Injury: 599,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 receive unintentional injuries while under the influence of alcohol.

•Academic Problems: About 25 percent of college students report academic consequences of their drinking including missing class, falling behind, doing poorly on exams or papers, and receiving lower grades overall.

•Health Problems/Suicide Attempts: More than 150,000 students develop an alcohol-related health problem and between 1.2 and 1.5 percent of students indicate that they tried to commit suicide within the past year due to drinking or drug use.

•Drunk Driving: 2.8 million students between the ages of 18 and 24 reported driving under the influence of alcohol.”

Source:   http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/

So really University of Iowa?  Considering the impact of alcohol on college students this is on par with the Sandusky scandal now rolling through the University of Pennsylvania.  Sadly it’s all about the money and not about the students they are entrusted to protect and educate.

In Spite of Ourselves

John Prine 2011 - photo by Bob Conroy

Debbie and I went to the John Prine with Iris Dement Concert at the Des Moines Civic Center last night. It was a very enjoyable event.  Dement did a 40-minute set and Prine did a non-stop two hours.  

Such talent!  Turns out that Dement is married to Iowa’s Greg Brown and he came on stage for the encore which, of course, was “Paradise”.

We planned to go out to dinner before the concert but did not preset the location so it turned into “Where do you want to go eat ?” followed by the required rejoinder “I don’t care, where do you want to go eat?”  We exchanged this several times, trading roles each time but getting no closer to a final answer.  Finally, we talked ourselves into Jethro’s BBQ by Drake University on the theory that school is out so it would not be too crowded.  Epic fail!  As we pulled into the parking lot there were aging frat boys spilling out into the parking lot, beers in hand. (btw, just when did a punk with a beer get labeled a “Young Professional” or “YP”? )

Iris Dement and John Prine 2011 - photo by Bob Conroy

Jethro’s was too loud for us from the parking lot, never mind going inside, so we headed downtown and figured we would have an extemporaneous dining experience also known as winging it.  After an interesting drive down University Ave to 6th Ave we arrived at the Civic Center.  Where do you want to go eat?” followed by the required rejoinder “I don’t care, where do you want to go eat?” morphed into “Where do you want to park?” followed by the required rejoinder “I don’t care, where do you want to park?”  We ended up parking a block north of the Civic Center after three scoops of the loop.

As we approached Nollen Plaza we noticed a lot of those YPs with glasses of wine.  Yes, it was Winefest. The YPs were dressed up, i.e., most of the women wore dresses with the appropriate bling while their escorts had their shirt tails tucked in for a change.  I know from high school chemistry class that C2H5OH is C2H5OH whether it is beer, wine, or hard liquor but the wine industry has positioned their product quite well. Incredible how much money is made by the alcohol cartel.

We had purchased our concert tickets from a link on Prine’s Facebook page just minutes after it was posted. This required going to “Will Call” to pick them up.  Wow: row A and seats 44 and 45; front and center!  With the tickets safely stored in one of my 20 zippered vest pockets, we walked down to Court Ave in search of food.  More of the “where do you…” exchanges led us to Legends.  This was the restaurant that “dissed” the teachers last year and scrambled to make amends.  We waited to be seated as instructed by a sign but there was nobody to seat us or even acknowledge our presence.  Debbie was getting ready to leave but I was wary of triggering the “Where do you…” loops again.  We were rescued by momentary eye contact by an employee and seated a few minutes later.

There were distinct seating areas.  A bar up front full of loud YPs reeking of insecurity, to the right a room full of families with children, the outside seating (82 degrees and humid) with people sneaking cigarettes and a small section near the kitchen and restrooms full of older people.  We were seated with the old folks and quite happy to be placed there. The food was okay but we are not “live to eat” people so the cost of eating out never seems worth it to us.

As mentioned already the concert was great. It was a little different from the regular Civic Center crowd and the rules were different. People were allowed to come and go during the concert and there were a few people that thought they were in a honky-tonk. One lady was apparently unaware that she only purchased one seat as she gyrated in a much large space.  

At the end of each song she warbled an Indian war cry that sounded like Neytiri of the planet Pandora.  I am sure she is nursing a terrible hangover today and would not want to hear her own war cry.  We are an interesting species, n’est pas!

John Prine is in a Bob Dylan mode of constant touring but that cannot go on forever.  Catch him if you can!