Debbie’s “long goodbye” continues unabated. We, who are close to her and see her often, see endless evidence of her slipping away from us. The good news is she still accepts without complaint her current living status. Never once has she asked to go home. Debbie sees her room as her “apartment” and she is proud to show it off to visitors. We filled the room with many of Debbie’s favorite items to make it familiar to her. So far this is working great. I visit every day and will do so as it is beneficial to Debbie. I have determined that the best time to visit is one to two hours before dinner. Then I transition out as she is seated for dinner. When I get there, she usually needs help with hygiene, so I help her freshen up and change clothes. She requires multiple prompts for dressing and eating but fortunately she is mostly compliant and does not get frustrated when she does not understand what is being said. A typical visit includes grabbing a couple of cookies, sometimes ice cream too, and going downstairs to the front entrance of Edgewater where there is a sitting area.
If the weather's bad, we stay there, and I'll read to her out of a newspaper or a book. I must break the cookie up and hand it to her as she doesn't know how to pick it up on her own. It is the same thing with ice cream. If it's nice out, we go out to the ponds at Edgewater and sit by a fire pit and just enjoy the waterfalls and the landscape. Occasionally, we go for a walk around the campus. It's a very serene and pretty campus. I always hold Debbie’s hand to give her the confidence that she is not going to get lost, and it is very calming for her.
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One of the takeaways that I've learned from going through this experience was the value of some planning that Debbie and I did years ago. We set up a living trust along with our wills and power of attorney for medical and financial decisions. Those documents were invaluable as we went into this journey. I encourage all of you reading this to get this done if you have not already done so. If you have these documents, congratulations on getting it done, but check that your documents are up to date and that you know where they are located.
In the meantime, I am adjusting to solitary life and I kind of laugh as I write that. I've had so many people reach out to me and I'm still working full time, more than full time, with the current challenges in the insurance industry. There is a lot on my plate and that is good for me to be occupied. Occasionally, at night I just kind of wander around the house but it's getting better.
So, with that, I'll sign off for now and promise to keep you updated on Debbie’s journey. Just remember none of us are here forever and never leave any kind thought unspoken. Let people know, as there can never be too much kindness in the world.
Onward and Upward, Bob