Two Years in Edgewater

It is hard to believe that nearly two years have passed since Debbie moved to Edgewater. I have become very comfortable with the ebb and flow of life there. Edgewater is in my backyard just a block away and I can see a glimpse of it from my back deck. The facility is about 18 years old and some major remodeling is in progress. A water fountain feature and an endless path of overlapping figure eights with nice landscaping was added. It is very nice and it was built with donated funds.

As I look back over the last few months it is easy to notice Debbie’s continued cognitive decline. But at the same time the tragedy of her cognitive decline is offset by her being calmer and I dare say happier than she was even six months ago. Perhaps it's because she understands less about what she's lost or maybe we are doing a better job of taking care of her needs. Regardless, I'm grateful for her current happiness. At this stage, peace and comfort feel like victories.

One unexpected source of comfort has entered Debbie’s life. She has “adopted” a baby doll who we call “Baby.” She treats it like a living baby, talks to it a lot and apparently it is talking back to her because she holds conversations with the doll and it makes her very happy.

Debbie has been sleeping 12 to 14 hours a day which is not uncommon for a resident in memory care. The problem was Debbie often slept those hours consecutively and that was causing her some issues with incontinence and preventing her from taking her medicines at a regular time. I contracted for additional help for Debbie to come four hours a day from 10 am to 2 pm. This person helps Debbie to get up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed, take her medicines, and eat lunch at an appropriate time. I am certain that we are doing the best we can for Debbie, that she is living her best life, and everything else is up to God.

Even amid the challenges, life continues to move forward around us. I still find work at the Iowa FAIR Plan both enjoyable and rewarding. I am looking forward to the birth of my first great grandchild in June. My granddaughter Allison graduated from the University of Nebraska and has been accepted into medical school at Des Moines University. So, she will be in Des Moines for at least the next three years!

Where Have You Been?

Another three months have passed in Debbie’s long goodbye journey. She has declined a little more, each decline a subtle milestone, but still she is able to join me for dinner every day.

Recently, we met another couple here at Edgewater who are walking a path very much like ours. Sally is in memory care, and her husband John lives in independent living on campus. The four of us have begun to gather for dinner each evening. John and I often find ourselves lost in conversation, swapping stories from our varied life experiences and mulling over the latest news. There’s comfort in this camaraderie, and it’s nice to see how content Debbie and Sally are having us by their side and sharing the warmth at the table.

Debbie’s world continues to shrink. She shows little interest in stepping outside, so we’ve adapted, taking short walks together inside the Edgewater complex. These loops become our shared moments that we both enjoy without many words being said. She is happiest when she is not required to use verbal communication. Holding her hand as we walk is all she requires. There are times when anxiety clouds her face, but the storm always passes. I am still confident that she receives the best care and support possible on her journey

Life Goes On

It has been 575 days since Debbie moved into Beacon Springs, the memory-care community at Edgewater. Beacon Springs is her safe harbor. The caregivers know her well and treat her with such gentleness. Her apartment is filled with little pieces of home that help her stay anchored as her memory slips further away. Even though her world is getting smaller, she has found a way to be content within it.

I continue to visit every day. Those visits have become the quiet focus of my day. I help her with small things like combing her hair, picking out clothes, and taking walks around the Edgewater campus. But mostly, I’m just there with her. There have been difficult days. Hospital stays. Moments of confusion or fear. The painful awareness that she continues to lose abilities she once relied on. Some of the residents who sat beside her at meals are no longer with us, and their absence lingers. This “long goodbye” is filled with losses both large and small.

And yet, there is still joy. Debbie finds comfort in simple things like favorite snacks, the sound of music from her childhood, sunlight through a window. She lights up for visitors. Even though she may not remember their names, she instinctively knows it is a person that is important to her. She smiles often. Her sweetness remains. Even as words slip away, her spirit shines through in the way she reaches for my hand or leans her head toward mine.

Induction Ceremony 2025 Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame

My induction into the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame was an unexpected but greatly appreciated honor. My family and friends suited up and showed up in numbers that exceeded my expectations. To have my children and grandchildren there made it an amazing experience. 

The hardest part for me was the speech. Not giving the speech but deciding on what to say. Each inductee is given five minutes which, after the obligatory thank yous, leaves very little time for a serious message. I had been on the IIHOF board for many years and attended over 20 events, so I have heard at least 80 inductee speeches. Some were awkward, some were polished, some were boring. The ones I remember best were funny, so I went with humor with a message. 

I was introduced by Abby-Jaye Larson a fellow CPCU with a personality that shines in the dark. She did a great job and set the stage for my speech. I had some notes printed out but I fumbled them on stage and winged it to the end.  Here is a link to a video of the event.

Besides the the people that attended I heard from friends from across the country. I heard how I had helped them, encouraged them to be their best, and a few that said I gave them a swift kick that they needed at the time. Much of what I heard were the nice platitudes that people say about the deceased at a funeral. I will alway be grateful for the experience.

The recognition was a wakeup call for me, as a senior leader in the local insurance community, to be sure to step up and nominate people that I know that should be in the IIHOF too. I am activity working on four at this time. 

2025 IIHOF Speech

My experience at the 2025 IIHOF Induction Ceremony was amazing. It was an unexpected honor that I will always treasure. Below is my short speech, we are only given five minutes. I knew from my time on the board and attending over 15 ceremonies that the best speeches were entertaining and especilly good when people would laugh. So, I tried to inject some humor into it and mostly succeeded. Below is the speech followed by the thank you I sent to the IIHOF Board of Directors. 

My Speech:

Thank you, Abby-Jaye, that was really, nice of you to do that and I greatly appreciate our long friendship.

I'd like to thank the Hall of Fame Board of Directors for the excellent job they did voting this year. And I appreciate the many hours of work that the board members provide to make this event possible.

Congratulations to the other 2025 inductees.

And many thanks to all of you for showing up tonight and making this a special night for me and I'm sure for the other inductees and their families.

I would take more than five minutes to thank the people that helped me in my career, from Jim Ketring who brought me to Des Moines in 1979 to my friend the late Ted Lussem.