Life Goes On

It has been 575 days since Debbie moved into Beacon Springs, the memory-care community at Edgewater. Beacon Springs is her safe harbor. The caregivers know her well and treat her with such gentleness. Her apartment is filled with little pieces of home that help her stay anchored as her memory slips further away. Even though her world is getting smaller, she has found a way to be content within it.

I continue to visit every day. Those visits have become the quiet focus of my day. I help her with small things like combing her hair, picking out clothes, and taking walks around the Edgewater campus. But mostly, I’m just there with her. There have been difficult days. Hospital stays. Moments of confusion or fear. The painful awareness that she continues to lose abilities she once relied on. Some of the residents who sat beside her at meals are no longer with us, and their absence lingers. This “long goodbye” is filled with losses both large and small.

And yet, there is still joy. Debbie finds comfort in simple things like favorite snacks, the sound of music from her childhood, sunlight through a window. She lights up for visitors. Even though she may not remember their names, she instinctively knows it is a person that is important to her. She smiles often. Her sweetness remains. Even as words slip away, her spirit shines through in the way she reaches for my hand or leans her head toward mine.

Induction Ceremony 2025 Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame

My induction into the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame was an unexpected but greatly appreciated honor. My family and friends suited up and showed up in numbers that exceeded my expectations. To have my children and grandchildren there made it an amazing experience. 

The hardest part for me was the speech. Not giving the speech but deciding on what to say. Each inductee is given five minutes which, after the obligatory thank yous, leaves very little time for a serious message. I had been on the IIHOF board for many years and attended over 20 events, so I have heard at least 80 inductee speeches. Some were awkward, some were polished, some were boring. The ones I remember best were funny, so I went with humor with a message. 

I was introduced by Abby-Jaye Larson a fellow CPCU with a personality that shines in the dark. She did a great job and set the stage for my speech. I had some notes printed out but I fumbled them on stage and winged it to the end.  Here is a link to a video of the event.

Besides the the people that attended I heard from friends from across the country. I heard how I had helped them, encouraged them to be their best, and a few that said I gave them a swift kick that they needed at the time. Much of what I heard were the nice platitudes that people say about the deceased at a funeral. I will alway be grateful for the experience.

The recognition was a wakeup call for me, as a senior leader in the local insurance community, to be sure to step up and nominate people that I know that should be in the IIHOF too. I am activity working on four at this time. 

2025 IIHOF Speech

My experience at the 2025 IIHOF Induction Ceremony was amazing. It was an unexpected honor that I will always treasure. Below is my short speech, we are only given five minutes. I knew from my time on the board and attending over 15 ceremonies that the best speeches were entertaining and especilly good when people would laugh. So, I tried to inject some humor into it and mostly succeeded. Below is the speech followed by the thank you I sent to the IIHOF Board of Directors. 

My Speech:

Thank you, Abby-Jaye, that was really, nice of you to do that and I greatly appreciate our long friendship.

I'd like to thank the Hall of Fame Board of Directors for the excellent job they did voting this year. And I appreciate the many hours of work that the board members provide to make this event possible.

Congratulations to the other 2025 inductees.

And many thanks to all of you for showing up tonight and making this a special night for me and I'm sure for the other inductees and their families.

I would take more than five minutes to thank the people that helped me in my career, from Jim Ketring who brought me to Des Moines in 1979 to my friend the late Ted Lussem.

Move Along

Here is a long overdue update on Debbie’s journey. Time is flying by, and I feel like I am never caught up. There is always too much to do and I have too little energy to do it all.

It has three months of challenges for Debbie as she continues her long goodbye. Since the last post she made two trips to the hospital, one by ambulance the other I drove her. Both were overnight stays, but she was able to return to Edgewater both times.


Debbie continues to lose ground cognitively, but she is unaware of the total extent of her condition, and we are grateful for that. She often does not sleep well so mornings are a difficult time for her. After an hour or two she usually joins in the scheduled activities and is generally calm. I visit at least once every day and always for an hour or two before dinner as this is by far her best time.

We have a daily routine. The first is to help her clean up and change clothes, go for a walk (outside if the weather is good), and then watch a little television. We sit at the same table with another couple where another husband visits his wife everyday too. We have become good friends.

Last month I moved closer to Edgewater, just two blocks south of the campus. I will miss the Bridgewood neighborhood and the many friends that Debbie and I have made over the last 24 years. I went to a different school in 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th grades, all different school districts spread across three states. Being in one place for so long was something I will always cherish. But the Bridgewood house was empty without Debbie and being able to walk or bike to Edgewater seemed like a good option.

The move was more work both physically and mentally than I expected it to be. So many small details and follow-ups to follow-ups. William was a great help moving. Jackson and Cassidy travelled from Kearney and with Mikki and Hunter they organized my great room. They selected new furniture, set everything up, and decorated it in two days. My 98.5-inch television (that's 7 feet by 4 feet) looks good in there!

My new tricycle has worked out great. There is already 55 miles on the odometer from just going a few blocks to Edgewater and back!

Onward and Upward! Bob

Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame

 After a long career with GuideOne / Preferred Risk and the Iowa FAIR Plan, I found out that I will be inducted into the Iowa Insurance Hall of Fame. It still seems a little surreal to me as I didn't see myself at that level. Apparently the people that nominated me, those that wrote letters of recommendation, and the board of directors that voted didn't agree. I am grateful for the honor.

I was blessed to have great bosses, mentors, and coworkers. So many of them have passed away but their influence is still with me and I do my best to pass it on to those that I influence.

Ron Wilson, Bob Conroy, Jack Martinez

My late wife, Carol, and my wife Debbie were always supportive and and encouraging. Success at any level would have been impossible without their love and support.

Ron Wilson, Dave Creighton Sr.

Russ Lettington, Syd Vanderlinden, Bob Conroy

Yesterday was Debbie's 69th birthday.

Debbie has been in Edgewater for one year now. She has adapted well to living there and it continues to be the best life possible that I can provide for her. I still visit every day. Most days I must help her with hygiene issues as she is most comfortable taking help from me. Then before dinner we walk around the building or the campus if the weather is nice. If I have FAIR Plan work that needs to be done, I open my laptop while Debbie is content sitting next to me while I work.

The Edgewater staff members are amazing. I cannot adequately describe the depth of their professionalism, their caring, and their hard work. I don't know how they give so much of themselves to care about the residents as much as they do and then must see each of them die.

Since Debbie has been there, there have been six deaths in total, with two in the last few weeks. We lost Maggie, the life of the party. Maggie told me she was there because she had dementia and then laughed and laughed. She maintained her sense of humor, making her pleasant company. About a month before her passing her awful disease went into high gear and forced her into skilled care. Debbie and I would visit her there and by this time she seldom opened her eyes. But when I held her hand and talked to her, she would occasionally squeeze my hand to let me know that she was still there. Cindy passed last weekend. She always had a smile for me and occasionally a wink to let me know she was still there. Her courage to participate in activities while her body was frail and failing was inspiring. I miss them both.

Calm and Happy

Here is an update on where we are on our journey. Debbie is still at Edgewater in the memory care unit called Beacon Springs. 

The last few months have been a time of loss. A longtime friend from my Preferred Risk days died, and another is now in memory care. Recently, several of the residents in Beacon Springs have died, two have moved to long-term care, and one is in the hospital. The losses continue with Debbie as she continues to lose more cognitive ability. She is starting to hallucinate. She is hearing voices and then responding to them. Her words make no sense, but then I only hear half of the conversation.

The good news is that Debbie is calm and generally happy because she feels safe. She is always clean, well-fed, and tended to by wonderful people who care about her. To the best of her ability, Debbie participates in group activities. She has many friends and family who visit. So, from that perspective, she's luckier than most people.

Surviving the Holidays

Debbie's slow cognitive decline continues to be noticeable to us but not to her. Because she isn't aware of it she is calmer and less anxious.

The holidays are over, and routine has returned to Edgewater and the memory care area called Beacon Springs. The last eight weeks have been fraught with challenges for the residents and staff.

First, Beacon Springs is now full, as several new residents moved in. It is a time of adjustment for the new arrivals, their families, and the current residents. Something as simple as changing the seating arrangements at meals and the added activity in the common area can be stressful for some residents.

Second, there were many visitors, some travelling from a distance to see their loved ones. A few of the residents were taken out to dinners, family gatherings, and church services. What follows is often confusion and anxiety for the residents. Perhaps it is just the change of routine, a glimpse of their past life, or just getting tired that causes it.

Third, the regular weekday staff, of course, want to spend time with their family during the holidays. So, during the holidays many more days become a “weekend”, i.e., a day without the usual daily events and surrounded by more familiar faces.

We struggled as a family to get the right balance for Debbie between us visiting but not disrupting her new life. We have settled into a routine where I visit every day around 3:30 pm and then leave when she is served dinner and after I cut her food. That gives me time to make sure she is clean and if not help her change. Then we walk or watch TV together. It is a comfortable routine for both Debbie and me. Debbie gets one or two visits each week from family or friends, often having lunch or dinner at the Edgewater Bistro. We have never taken Debbie off the Edgewater campus, and she has never requested to leave. It is a happy place for her, and I am grateful for that.