Here is an update on where we are on our journey. Debbie is still at Edgewater in the memory care unit called Beacon Springs.
The last few months have been a time of loss. A longtime friend from my Preferred Risk days died, and another is now in memory care. Recently, several of the residents in Beacon Springs have died, two have moved to long-term care, and one is in the hospital. The losses continue with Debbie as she continues to lose more cognitive ability. She is starting to hallucinate. She is hearing voices and then responding to them. Her words make no sense, but then I only hear half of the conversation.
The good news is that Debbie is calm and generally happy because she feels safe. She is always clean, well-fed, and tended to by wonderful people who care about her. To the best of her ability, Debbie participates in group activities. She has many friends and family who visit. So, from that perspective, she's luckier than most people.
As I watched Debbie’s slow decline, I occasionally allowed myself to wonder how long this would go on and what it would be like when we get closer to the end. I quickly stopped that line of thought because it does no good to worry. The best thing is just to deal with it when it comes and live in the present. I have learned to enjoy little things, like a smile, holding hands, or sitting quietly together.
I am finding my life to be quite different as I have never lived alone. I was married to Carol for 28 years before she died, and Debbie and I have been married 24 years. At first, I hated living alone, then for a few months I enjoyed the solitude. But now it's back to where I don't need solitude as much as I need to be around people. I go to the office every day and often have lunch with friends.
I leave the office at about 3:30 to head over to Edgewater. Every day I help Debbie and the other ladies move to the dining room table. I cut Debbie’s food and do the same for several others. A couple of them wait for me to cut their food before they eat. That is when I get some smiles and live in the present.
Onward and Upward!