She is at Peace.

Debbie has finished her long goodbye. She died on July 01, 2026, and is finally free from the disease that slowly robbed her of so many years while making the last decade of her life a challenge for her, her family, and her friends.

A couple of weeks ago, Debbie began showing increased signs of confusion. After several medical tests, it became clear that her condition had progressed to the point where hospice care was appropriate. Those services were arranged quickly, and, thankfully, she was able to remain in the room at Edgewater that had been her home for the past two years.

There is nothing but gratitude in my heart for the compassionate caregivers and staff at Edgewater, a WesleyLife Community. They cared for Debbie with exceptional kindness, dignity, and respect, bringing comfort not only to her but also to our family during the final chapter of her life.

I am equally grateful to my family and friends who stood by Debbie for so many years and surrounded us with love and support during her final weeks. It was remarkable to see everyone focus on one thing, making Debbie as comfortable as possible while caring for one another. There were no discouraging words, only compassion, kindness, and love. One of my greatest joys was seeing Debbie meet her two-week-old great-granddaughter, Lucy, made possible by a 600-mile round trip that her parents gladly made so they could share that moment with her.

Those who know us well will not be surprised to learn that Debbie and I preplanned our funeral arrangements more than 20 years ago. Debbie wanted a quiet goodbye with a private service and interment. She never mentioned a visitation, however, so we are taking advantage of that small loophole to give family and friends an opportunity to gather, share memories, and celebrate the wonderful person she was. The visitation will be held from 1:00 to 4:00 p.m., Sunday, July 5, 2026, at Caldwell Parrish Funeral Home (8201 Hickman Rd. Urbandale, IA) A private service and interment will be held at a later date.

Debbie was the kindest person I have ever known. It was one of life's greatest privileges to be her husband, her best friend, and her partner for 25 years. Her gentle spirit, warm heart, and quiet strength touched everyone who knew her. She will be deeply missed, lovingly remembered, and forever cherished.

https://www.caldwellparrish.com/obituaries/debra-conroy

Bonus Mom by Katie Lane

Here is a wonderful tribute written by my daughter Katie about Debbie.

My sweet bonus mom passed away yesterday.

Debbie came into my life exactly when I needed her most. I was 21 years old, a brand-new mom, and grieving the loss of my own mom to cancer. From the very beginning, she made me feel welcomed, loved, and like I belonged.

She became Jackson's beloved "Rar-Rar," and I will always be grateful that she stepped into that role with so much love. She held space for my grief, never trying to replace my mom, but patiently loving me through it. We shared countless conversations, always respecting and caring for one another.

When Allison was born, Debbie scooped her right up and proudly became her grandma too. Then came Hunter and Chase. I still smile thinking about how she thanked me for "letting her be a grandma" because now she was a professional.

Debbie was the glue that held our family together. Because she became my bonus mom, I was blessed with two incredible sisters, Mikki and Aimee, whom I love with all my heart and soul. Along with them came an amazing extended family that welcomed me with open arms.

Debbie made it possible for me to be loved by so many people when I needed it the most. That is a gift I will carry with me forever.

She may be gone from our sight, but she will always be with us. She is finally free to be the Debbie we all know and love, and I know she's smiling down on all of us.

I will miss her forever.

Thank you, Debbie, for being my mom. I love you so much, and I always will.

Meet Lucy Jo Lane

What an incredible day! Today I met my five-day-old great-granddaughter, Lucy Jo Lane, for the very first time. She is healthy, beautiful, and already surrounded by so much love. 

Her mother and father are doing a wonderful job as new parents. It didn't take long for Lucy to steal my heart, and I know she will bring endless joy to our family in the years ahead.

Two Years in Edgewater

It is hard to believe that nearly two years have passed since Debbie moved to Edgewater. I have become very comfortable with the ebb and flow of life there. Edgewater is in my backyard just a block away and I can see a glimpse of it from my back deck. The facility is about 18 years old and some major remodeling is in progress. A water fountain feature and an endless path of overlapping figure eights with nice landscaping was added. It is very nice and it was built with donated funds.

As I look back over the last few months it is easy to notice Debbie’s continued cognitive decline. But at the same time the tragedy of her cognitive decline is offset by her being calmer and I dare say happier than she was even six months ago. Perhaps it's because she understands less about what she's lost or maybe we are doing a better job of taking care of her needs. Regardless, I'm grateful for her current happiness. At this stage, peace and comfort feel like victories.

One unexpected source of comfort has entered Debbie’s life. She has “adopted” a baby doll who we call “Baby.” She treats it like a living baby, talks to it a lot and apparently it is talking back to her because she holds conversations with the doll and it makes her very happy.

Debbie has been sleeping 12 to 14 hours a day which is not uncommon for a resident in memory care. The problem was Debbie often slept those hours consecutively and that was causing her some issues with incontinence and preventing her from taking her medicines at a regular time. I contracted for additional help for Debbie to come four hours a day from 10 am to 2 pm. This person helps Debbie to get up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed, take her medicines, and eat lunch at an appropriate time. I am certain that we are doing the best we can for Debbie, that she is living her best life, and everything else is up to God.

Even amid the challenges, life continues to move forward around us. I still find work at the Iowa FAIR Plan both enjoyable and rewarding. I am looking forward to the birth of my first great grandchild in June. My granddaughter Allison graduated from the University of Nebraska and has been accepted into medical school at Des Moines University. So, she will be in Des Moines for at least the next three years!

Where Have You Been?

Another three months have passed in Debbie’s long goodbye journey. She has declined a little more, each decline a subtle milestone, but still she is able to join me for dinner every day.

Recently, we met another couple here at Edgewater who are walking a path very much like ours. Sally is in memory care, and her husband John lives in independent living on campus. The four of us have begun to gather for dinner each evening. John and I often find ourselves lost in conversation, swapping stories from our varied life experiences and mulling over the latest news. There’s comfort in this camaraderie, and it’s nice to see how content Debbie and Sally are having us by their side and sharing the warmth at the table.

Debbie’s world continues to shrink. She shows little interest in stepping outside, so we’ve adapted, taking short walks together inside the Edgewater complex. These loops become our shared moments that we both enjoy without many words being said. She is happiest when she is not required to use verbal communication. Holding her hand as we walk is all she requires. There are times when anxiety clouds her face, but the storm always passes. I am still confident that she receives the best care and support possible on her journey