It has been over six weeks since Debbie moved into the memory care section at Wesley’s Edgewater campus in West Des Moines. I am happy to report that the move and transition were better than we hoped for as she was immediately calmer and happier in this more structured environment. She has a nice room; it is quite large, and we call it her apartment. The facilities and the staff at Edgewater are fantastic.
Debbie continues to decline cognitively, a little bit each day. She cannot read, follow conversations, or express more than her basic thoughts and needs. When asked a question she freezes up as she senses that it is a question, perhaps from the rising inflection at the end of the question. We try not to ask her questions, but it is hard not to because it is polite to ask people what they might need and give them choices.
Very little new information makes it into Debbie’s long-term memory. When her sister Ronna visits in the morning and then I visit later in the day, Debbie has no memory of Ronna’s visit. Debbie no longer knows our names.
I see Debbie every day and we go for a walk on the Edgewater campus. Last night I had a wonderful experience with her. I asked Debbie if she knew my name, and she smiled and said confidently "Yes, you're You." I smiled and agreed, and then we went for a nice walk. I am very grateful to be her “You.”
The harder transition has been for me. I was so involved in caring for Debbie every day, managing her medication, cooking meals, cleaning, laundry, helping her with hygiene, and dressing. Now my home is silent. I have never lived alone, and so far, I find it to be awful. So, I am staying busy with friends and family and working on a large project at work to stay busy.
Onward and Upward! Bob
