Bob and Debbie Conroy - Enjoying the Journey Together!

Debbie was sitting with Rebecca, the activities director, when I came in for a visit yesterday. She told Rebecca, “There’s Bob!” I am grateful that she still knows my name at times while accepting that it is becoming less frequent. Debbie continues to be well adjusted to life at Edgewater and is living her best possible life there. She is calmer. She is less aware of what she has lost and makes the most of what she has left. Because of my daily visits I am acutely aware of the daily routines of the residents and the staff. It is a joy being with the other residents in memory care too– each one has story and in a small way I have become a part of their world. I have connected with them, and I know I have made their final journey a little bit better. It is sad when they pass, and two have passed in October.   No one recovers from dementia. The Edgewater staff work tirelessly to meet the unique needs of each resident. The residents require a lot of patience, and some days are better t...

Debbie’s “long goodbye” continues unabated. We, who are close to her and see her often, see endless evidence of her slipping away from us. The good news is she still accepts without complaint her current living status. Never once has she asked to go home. Debbie sees her room as her “apartment” and she is proud to show it off to visitors. We filled the room with many of Debbie’s favorite items to make it familiar to her. So far this is working great. I visit every day and will do so as it is beneficial to Debbie. I have determined that the best time to visit is one to two hours before dinner. Then I transition out as she is seated for dinner. When I get there, she usually needs help with hygiene, so I help her freshen up and change clothes. She requires multiple prompts for dressing and eating but fortunately she is mostly compliant and does not get frustrated when she does not understand what is being said. A typical visit includes grabbing a couple of cookies, sometimes ice cream too...

It has been over six weeks since Debbie moved into the memory care section at Wesley’s Edgewater campus in West Des Moines. I am happy to report that the move and transition were better than we hoped for as she was immediately calmer and happier in this more structured environment. She has a nice room; it is quite large, and we call it her apartment. The facilities and the staff at Edgewater are fantastic. Debbie continues to decline cognitively, a little bit each day. She cannot read, follow conversations, or express more than her basic thoughts and needs. When asked a question she freezes up as she senses that it is a question, perhaps from the rising inflection at the end of the question. We try not to ask her questions, but it is hard not to because it is polite to ask people what they might need and give them choices. Very little new information makes it into Debbie’s long-term memory. When her sister Ronna visits in the morning and then I visit later in the day, Debbie has no mem...

My grandson, Jackson, is a good person. That may be my highest compliment besides respecting those that are lifelong learners.  Jackson was given the promise of a full ride scholarship to any University of Nebraska location when he was in 8th grade. He would forfeit the scholarship if his grades sagged or if he got into any trouble. I became concerned when he acquired a steady girlfriend, Cassidy, in 10th grade.  Girlfriends, good grades and staying out of trouble are often mutually exclusive. Over the years that they dated I got to know Cassidy and was impressed with her kindness and character. They continued to date through high school and entered University of Nebraska at Kearney together. Four years later they both graduated and then landed great jobs in Kearney.  Jackson and Cassidy married and my heart is full of joy for them. They deserve each other and they are a blessing to their families and many friends. 

  We stopped at the SAC Air and Space Museum near Omaha on the way home from Cassidy and Jackson's wedding. An early version of Tesla's Cyber Plane is on display. Okay, it actually is a F-117 Nighthawk undergoing restoration.

I want to let you know that Debbie is entering the later stages of her illness as those around her can notice daily declines. Debbie’s needs have progressed to the point where she was moved into long-term memory at Wesley Life Edgewater in West Des Moines last week. This has been a tough decision, and I am a mix of sadness because I miss her being at our home but relieved knowing that she’ll be getting the care she needs. Edgewater is well-equipped to manage her symptoms and provide her with the best possible quality of life. She is already responding favorably to her new surroundings. Soon I will post how to visit or where to send her cards and photos.

  It's not the size of the fish that matters but rather the quality of the time.